::sarah meissner::

IT IS NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION TIME!!!

Yes dear readers, it is the time where I feel compelled to once again publicly discuss the yearly goals I place ahead of myself. However this set does not seem to revolve around a list, yet more of a feeling. A feeling ignited by the powerful, ever motivational music I have been surrounding myself as of late. Ok. I went through this strange love affair with singer/songwriters for a moment. I still maintain that it was a phase! A PHASE!!! *my friends were constantly telling me to regrow my musical balls, because if they had to listen to one more wistful love song, they were going to slit my wrist in defiance* However I am pleased to announce that once again my speakers are spouting chants of maintaining my fighting spirit. Strong guitar riffs, aggressive drums, and melodic lyrics that make me believe I am capable of anything. Yup, much more my speed...

"Have you fought all your dragons yet?" "The time don't seem right, but the stars all align" "Who grows up to think 'I wanna be on wall street?' We want to be astronauts" "Howl in the night, can you hear it?" "Gotta make the list of what is best. Gotta make a fist and beat against. Have to make an impression" "The city is my church" "Bad Past GONE AWAY" "Are you going to remain the same for the rest of your life?" Just to give you a little sample of what I have been forcing through my ear canals as of late. So it is with these songs in mind, I begin to discuss my thoughts and impending goals for this year of 2012.

Perhaps it is a pitfall of being one of my age, but I am surrounded by people who are questioning their motivations behind keeping a dream alive. I can't count how many conversations I have had in darkly lit bars all revolving on how strong a person must be in order to maintain belief in themselves and their talent. Often I think it is just the conversation creatives have when they are in an environment meant to evoke people into spilling their guts to whomever will listen. But the more I have this particular talk, the more I realize why so many people give up. It is fucking hard to believe in yourself when seemingly everyone else doesn't.

There are these cliché phrases creatives always say when asked why they put themselves through emotional and financial hell all to create; "there is nothing else I could do." -or- "the voice is too loud" -or- "i am terribly depressed if i do anything else with myself". I too have spouted those phrases more times than I can count. I have TRIED...really, I swear I did...being Corporate Sarah. It failed. Or rather, I failed at it. So I get it. Life doesn't make over night successes out of all of us, and there are some people who are successful in the creative industry that have no business polluting our field. But no way in hell can I give up. I just can't. AND.NEITHER.SHOULD.YOU. Ah look the point.

I want to start a support group for artists/creative/whatever the hell we want to call ourselves. A (virtual?) meeting ground so to speak where we can bitch about corporate cogs who don't see the problem with using yellow fonts in power point presentations, but most importantly where we can uplift each other and provide the emotional support all creatives need. Don't deny it. We may seem tough and full of ourselves, but I don't think a more insecure bunch of people exists. Not a new idea. I get that. But I don't think it is known enough in the creative industry on where to find sources in order to put food in our bellies besides corporate jobs or mom and dad. It is something more than just showing your art and hoping people comment on it...it is about sharing resources openly. It's about taking away some of the elitism that comes with the art world. Meaning you don't have to pay $500 bucks to join. I mean come on. If I can't afford food, or supplies, or whatever!, how the hell can I afford $500 bucks so I can walk around a gallery and hear you brag about another artist that isn't me?!?! It is about telling each other not to give up. It is about providing a place where people understand how hard it is to dim down the shine of an artist in order to work with the rest of the world. How you can't necessarily say FUCK 'EM all the time, but how you can remember that you are not the crazy one...they are. :) Seriously people YELLOW FONT, COMIC SANS TO BE EXACT, SIZE 10 ON A POWERPOINT PRESENTATION GIVEN TO 100 PEOPLE ON A PROJECTOR!!!

So in the next upcoming months...whenever I can fit this project in between others...I plan on doing just that. All because my new year's resolution for 2012 is to uplift as many creatives I can. I have gotten so much help from my community, friends and family that I feel it is time I pay that forward. Pay it forward I shall.

Ok. I admit it. My musical tastes would likely land me the distinction of a hipster. But I balk at such assumptions based on one facet of my life. I hate PBR...even though it is brewed in my home town...I am not capable of growing a beard...thank god...and I don't wear a variety of goofy hats...my hair is too thick for that, it causes strange lumps.

But there is something about music that transcends. We have all heard that statement in one variation or another, and I believe it with the entirety of my soul. Especially when said transcendental song speaks of being a drifter. You want to make me the happiest person for 1200.34 seconds? Play me a song about how I am not alone by wanting to be alone.

So this week I accidentally played a song that I normally skip over. Blind Pilot has been described as the flagship hipster band of Portland, OR (they did a tour on their BIKES! can they BE anymore awesome!?!). This distinction made me want to throw up on them. For what true hipster wants to follow other hipsters........................

However if I remained in my rebellious and albeit pretentious mindset, I would have missed out on a beautiful song. See that, I can admit I was wrong. Go me.

"It's not hard to live like a ghost. I just haunt all that I wanted, and leave what I don't"